Category Archives: Randomness

How five people ruined the entire 21st century (in one day)

You know who I blame for all this? Those stupid hanging chads. “Blame them for what, Paul?” For everything. For the entire dumpster fire that is the 21st century. For they are the nexus point on which the whole of modern history turns. They were the beating butterfly’s wings that triggered storms from Baghdad to AleppoContinue reading “How five people ruined the entire 21st century (in one day)”

Through the square window: 100 years of the BBC

When we consider the great moments that have bound our nation together over the past century, there is a singular thread that runs through them all. From Neville Chamberlain gravely informing the British people that “this country is at war with Germany” to Her Majesty The Queen assuring us during the Covid pandemic that “weContinue reading “Through the square window: 100 years of the BBC”

How I accidentally turned my wife’s granddad’s trouser fly buttons into an internet sensation.

READER, I’ve gone viral. Big deal, you might think – who hasn’t these days? But I’m not talking about that virus. I’m talking about the other sort. I’m talking about the day I BROKE THE INTERNET. Or dented it, at least. Actually, it was more of a surface scratch, really. But you get the idea.Continue reading “How I accidentally turned my wife’s granddad’s trouser fly buttons into an internet sensation.”

Help – I think I’m suffering from smugpression

So, in the least surprising plot twist since Sleeping Beauty said “I’m just going for a lie down”, it turns out that Boris Johnson is a liar. (And before anyone writes in, I don’t think we need to wait for a report by Sue Gray, Sue Ellen, Sue Barker, Runaround Sue, A Boy Named SueContinue reading “Help – I think I’m suffering from smugpression”

In defence of, God help me, James Corden

This is an extract from a column originally published in the Cambridge Independent on April 10, 2019 How rude do you think it’s acceptable to be about the rich and famous? Do you think they deserve the same courtesy we’d expect ourselves? Or, because they live a fabulous, wealthy existence, and have basically chosen toContinue reading “In defence of, God help me, James Corden”